How NOT to use a car wash

You knew it was only a matter of time before I provided you with another life lesson. Today I will demonstrate the absolutely incorrect way to use a car wash.

First you run around like crazy picking up specialty magazines for your husband while he's in the hospital, drive around an unfamiliar area looking for a Wallyworld, fill your car with gas, and then go on the hunt for an automatic car wash. Oh, yea, could you do all of that in about an hour please?

Ok...so now that you have your assignment let me show you how not to do it. I had everything planned perfectly so that I used my time efficiently. No backtracking for this girl! My plans were going great until I got to the car wash part. I put my money in the cash thingy and pull in when the light turns green. I made sure the windows and the sunroof were completely closed and put the car in neutral when the red light came on. While the car wash is doing it's gyrations I decided it would be a good use of my time to reorganize the bags from Wallyworld so I didn't take anything unnecessary into the hospital. You have to multi-task in order to live my life lately! I pulled everything up into the passenger seat and moved my purse to the console. I soon noticed the car wash was louder than it was when I originally pulled in. I looked up just in time to notice that my purse had put the passenger window all the way down!! OMG!! Guess what? The harder you push the button does not correlate into the faster the window goes up. This is what I looked like a few seconds later:
Luckily I had towels in the trunk and I was able to get everything fairly dried off. CarGuy's magazines had an enjoyable ride back to the hospital on the heated seat and I cranked up the heater in the car to try and blowdry my hair. I ended up pulling the front part up with a clip which I'm sure was awfully attractive. Thank goodness I wasn't wearing a white shirt!! That's a look that most 40-something women just shouldn't take part in.

And that is how NOT to use a car wash!

I continue to amaze myself...

Yep...my clumsiness reigns supreme!! I have now sprained my ankle and scraped up my knee. You wonder how this happened? Well...let me tell you - I was just walking and boom down I went. I have a theory...wanna hear it? Ok...well it goes something like this:

For months now I've been developing a love/hate relationship with WallyWorld (you know who I'm talking about right?). They love my money and hate to give it to them. Unfortunately when your money belt is being tightened sometimes you have to let go of your high and mighty ideals and walk in the door. Besides...my vanity got in the way and I really needed some of this:
I know, I know, but it's the greatest stuff ever and doesn't require me to take out a home equity loan to keep my skin soft and supple - well, as soft and supple as 40 something skin can be when it's been abused for the first 25 years with excessive tanning, mega make up, and little to no cleansing regimen.

So, anyways...I am walking along minding my own business when this stupid curb decides I must step down and my ankle says it prefers not to do so. The one good thing is that it happened between 2 cars with no witnesses so I was able to wrench myself back up without people asking me if I'm ok. The pain of the injury I can take but the embarrassment is the killer! I hobbled back to my car with blood pouring down my leg (well really it was just a little bit of seepage but this is my story so I'll embellish wherever I like...thank you!) and drove myself home. Yes, without my beloved face cream!!

I got the ankle x-rayed and it's not broken and I've doctored my knee through a little bit of an infection this weekend. I'm actually doing really well now and decided to try my soiree to the dreaded mega-store again. I did go to a different location though -- no need to rile up the curbs again! I finished my shopping in record time and without nary a scratch but....can you see this coming? I forgot this!!!!!!!
So my theory is that Wal-Mart is the source of all my clumsiness!!! I don't think that logic is flawed at all!!