Friday, August 7, 2009

Flying Birds

Well…one of the times a mother hates to see has come my way. SwimBoy has now moved out on his own. He rented a small 2 bedroom apartment in a 1939 home that has been converted into a tri-plex. He applied last week and needed me to co-sign for him. He was a nervous wreck the whole weekend but I kept reassuring him that there would not be a problem. He started packing his things over the weekend and moving them into the garage. It was so sad to see the little gifts he would leave in front of my bedroom door as he was cleaning things out. Just a few of the treasures he left me were certificates he received in swimming in middle school, a painting he did in 5th grade, and his cub scout shirts. I told him I would hang on to those things for him and that when he wanted them back just to let me know. All that is left in his room now is a tub of legos which I’m actually surprised he didn’t take with him. Everyone needs a tub of legos…right?

The call came on Monday that he got the apartment and that he could get his keys on Tuesday afternoon. See…I told him so but don’t worry I didn’t say it. By the time I made it over to his apartment on Tuesday evening around 6 he had all his things moved in and was putting them away. I remember when I first moved away from home. Everything I owned fit in my little 1972 Toyota Corolla with some room to spare even! Sometimes it seems like that was just yesterday and other times (like today) it feels like it was hundreds of years ago. I can still remember the excitement I felt at flexing my wings and going off on my great adventure.

But back to SwimBoy….it’s a cute little apartment with arched doorways and curved ceilings. The appliances are a little dated but given his propensity to cook that won’t be much of a problem. Although…he showed me his wish list last night and it included a cook book on it! All you other moms out there know which cook book he needs and I’m going to go pick up that little red and white checked gem at Barnes & Noble for him. He has blinds on all his windows but he’s asked me to help him put some curtains up. I’m so glad that he’s asking me for my help. I think it will be fun to watch his style emerge. I’ve already noticed that he seems to like black furniture. He painted his dresser and bookcase black before he moved and purchased a black futon for his living room from his new neighbor.

So far the hardest part has been seeing his room empty. This is the first time in over 19 years there hasn’t been a bed for him in my home. He was always pretty quiet in the house so sometimes it was hard to tell if he was there so it’s not noise I am missing. I have to admit I am looking forward to the decrease in dirty dishes and not finding his stinky socks all over the place. I figure my grocery bill will go down a bit too and that will definitely be a welcome side effect! But overall I will miss him more than I will welcome these little perks.

You spend so much of your life nurturing your small child and trying to give him what he needs in order to be a fully functioning member of society. It’s sort of hard to turn that off when your job is done. However, I refuse to become that mother who continues to meddle in their child’s life after they set out on their own. I will not be just stopping by (he only lives about 2 miles away now) and I will not be calling him everyday to see what he’s doing. It will be a struggle to cut those strings but cut I must. Does anyone have some handy-dandy, non-painful, ever-sharp, user-friendly apron string scissors just lying around that I could borrow? I’d be ever so appreciative and would remain your best friend forever!


Anonymous said...

I have always appreciated the fact that my mom and dad never just dropped by - they always call first - except for a brief period after my dad's stroke where apparently the call first brain cell was one of the ones that went.

Not like we all have secret lives or anything but it shows respect for the other person's space. My sister and I live 4 blocks apart and we always call ahead as well. We can see each other often but we aren't bombarded with every little detail of each others lives.

Actually it is quite surprising the number of close relatives that live near each other in our neighborhood - it is kind of a nice thing

Kathy J

Kat Tale Tennessee said...

What a great blog entry. What a great mom you are! Never being a mom myself, I have no ideas for cutting apron strings. Since it's been a couple of weeks, how is it going for you? Did you get that cookbook for him yet? Take care. Think of you often and pray lots.