Tiny Theater Thursday

I don’t think I even need to introduce this commercial – I’d love to hear your thoughts on who you think will be buying this product.

Still...

CarGuy is still in the hospital and getting extremely grouchy about it. I'm doing my best at biting my tongue but sometimes it's too hard and emotions come spilling out. I think I've been in tears a couple times today due to his outbursts at me. I know he wants out of the hospital -- he's not really in any pain so I can't even blame it on that. I try to keep that in mind but being the overly sensitive type I can be makes it hard to hold it together. I think we need to have some basic niceties met even when we aren't where we want to be.

So...my plan tonight after I get back to the apartment? I'm gonna crack open a fuzzy navel wine cooler and then kick some Wii boxing butt!!! Nothing better than beating the heck out of cyber opponents who have no actual arms. Does anyone else find it disturbing that those folks at Nintendo couldn't find it in their programming skills to give these creatures some arms? The WiiFit is even creepier because the trainers never move their lips. Sort of like having a ventriloquist on the screen. Yep...they can give my little Mii an eerily similar curvy shape like mine while they tell me I'm obese but they can't let my trainer actually open his mouth. And I think I heard the little "measuring" person giggle at me when I stepped on the board -- how rude! Anyone have the address where I can file a harassment complaint against my video game?

So...in closing...I don't think I want much! My husband to try and treat me like a person, my boxing opponents to have arms, and my trainer to move his lips. Common courtesy people, common courtesy! Now...where is that drink I ordered?!? Nurse!!

Tiny Theater Thursday

Horribly bad puns...please forgive me!

Scenes from a Hospital Bathroom

As you know CarGuy is back in the hospital and while I'm not having to sleep on the floor in his room this time around (thank goodness!!) I do have to use the community bathroom. While I have an aversion to public restrooms in general, I am glad that the bathroom is right across from his room rather than out 2 doors and down the hall and around the corner like the last time we were here. I'm sure I was 12 degrees of entertaining to the staff around here before with my sprinting at Olympic speed to the bathroom all the time. I can move pretty darn fast sometimes!

Why am I telling you all this about a bathroom? Well...something struck me as funny in there today. Oh, come on now, stop looking at me like that, those who either know me IRL or have been reading this blog for any length of time know that I see the world a little oddly and have no trouble sharing my musings with anyone who will listen (or read). So...come along with me...if I go into TMI territory, see that little red x up in the top right hand corner of your monitor? Just click it, go take a cold shower with lye soap, get yourself some hypnosis therapy, and you will soon forget what I shared with you (or maybe you won't). ;-)

I should probably tell you first and foremost that I am a voracious reader. I read a lot and I will read anything and everything that crosses my path! When I was a kid I drove my parents crazy because I had to read, out loud mind you, every sign, bumper sticker, reader board, etc. that I saw. Yes...I HAD to do it, not I WANTED to do it, I HAD to do it. It's an illness - I need therapy - I know this. TMI warning ahead -- when I am in the bathroom I have to read stuff. I will look for things to read even if it's the naughties that are written on the bathroom walls -- although sometimes those are pretty darn engaging! Well anyway...in this particular bathroom there's really not much to look at but there is a can of disinfecting spray. So...I grab the can and am happily going along reading everything on the can -- yes, I did say happily -- it does make me happy to read stuff like this.

While I'm reading I'm thinking to myself that it really does amaze me that you have to tell people they should not spray this kind of stuff in their eyes and that it's not meant for internal human consumption. Who are these morons anyway? Oh, wait, I think they are the same ones who sue McDonald's when they spill their coffee on themselves and it burns them -- uh, clue one, it's coffee!! Carry on...

But...this particular can was even funnier than that. This one told you that you must don goggles or a face shield when using this product. Huh?!?!? We are talking about a household product that is supposed to make your life more pleasant by dissipating obnoxious smells and killing germs in order to keep you healthy...right? In fact, this product actually touts that it should be in nurseries -- it's been a while but I think that's where you store your babies. Those little wiggly creatures who are entirely dependent on adults to ensure their safety. Now...I am supposed to spray this spray in their living environment but I better put on a face shield first?

Oh, but, wait...that's not all!! The can also directs you that you must clean up any "gross filth" before using this product. *snicker* In my mind I see filth that has grown to the 144th power, has sprouted arms and legs, and is crawling toward this little June Cleaverish woman trying to spray it into submission -- wearing her face shield of course! Yes...you could say I've been watching way too much SciFi Channel!

I want to know what team of lawyers or industrial hygienists were involved in drafting up that packaging. I bet they are just loads of fun at parties!!

Tiny Theater Thursday

This weeks video was brought to my attention by Happy Hour Sue -- you don't know her? OMG -- you have to go visit her!! She is irreverent, funny, and the girl seriously changed my life. No, really, if you only knew -- she changed my life!

Late Line Special Report - Snuggies: Warm, Comfortable, Deadly? - watch more funny videos

CarGuy Update

Can you guess what this picture means? It means that CarGuy is back in the hospital. They told us that was a distinct possibility when he was discharged and they were right. We went to clinic this morning for a regular visit and his chemistry panel, that tells them how his internal organs are doing, showed some abnormalities in his kidney function and that coupled with his increased tummy issues over the last few days made the doctors mind up. He wanted to be better safe than sorry and he was going to be out of town so he wanted CarGuy closely monitored while he was gone. Have I mentioned that I totally *heart* his doctor!! And it's more than the accent but I still love hearing him talk! I know, I know, there's something seriously wrong with me but it's still entertaining to watch me make a fool of myself just to get him talking! I sure hope he never stumbles across my blog and figures out that I lust after his voice -- not good!! And if any of my IRL friends that I trust enough to give them my blog info tell him I WILL hunt you down and do something awful to you -- like make you sit and look at all my pictures from my childhood or something just as painful. Believe me...I will do it...don't push me...I'm a woman on the edge, man!!

CarGuy will have an endoscopy (ugh, ick, choke) tomorrow to see if he is developing some graft versus host disease in his gut. I spent several hours tonight helping him get the humungo jug of required liquid down his gullet so he would be ready for the test tomorrow. And what do you think he did to me (yes, of course it's all about me -- that's a given) after about 1/2 of it was in? He deposited it all in the lovely porcelain appliance in the bathroom -- oh, well, good intentions and all that jazz. The nurse said not to worry about it too much -- he tried.

His mouth sores are still causing him some real discomfort and now that he's in the hospital they can give him some strong painkillers. He will welcome the relief and maybe he can actually get some good meals in (and he's really fun to watch when he's all drugged up). He really hasn't been able to eat very well with those darn things in residence! Besides they make him really grouchy and I just don't have the angelic patience for that kind of behavior -- I know, gasp, can you believe it? I know you all thought I was superwoman but, guess what? Nope...no superpowers here!

CarGuy will be in the hospital for 2-3 days but thankfully I can return to the apartment each evening to sleep in a real bed rather than an air mattress on the floor complete with gloves and gown PJs! It's the small things in life that get me excited anymore!! So, you won't have to hear me bitching about it this time around. Aren't you relieved?!?

On another subject...when I got back to the apartment this afternoon to grab some stuff for CarGuy to take back to the hospital I walked in with one of the non-profit administrators for the apartments. She told me to come in to the office because someone dropped off some protein shake thingys she wanted me to take and what should I spy in fridge along with those nutritious cans? Beer!!! OMG!!!! Alcohol!!!! Just what Nurse Rene ordered!! It was Coors but beggars can't be choosers and it was heavenly to get back to the apartment tonight and pour that cold beverage in a tall glass. I sat back and enjoyed it immensely!! I may have to stop by that office more often! Here's to the wonderful person who put that in the fridge!!

CarGuy is storing nuts!!

Well...today was a little exciting. CarGuy's cheeks and lymph nodes in his neck are swelling a bit -- he looks sort of like a chipmunk storing nuts. He has the doctors stumped a little but they think it might be some kind of infection since his blood counts have dropped which would indicate his body is trying to fight something. He was also running a fever this afternoon which is pretty indicative (ooooo....those are those big nursey type words I'm learning) of an infection. They put him back on one of his anti-virals, took a bunch of blood and tissue samples, and he had a CT scan of the area today. We are waiting to hear back from the cancer center on the results of all these tests. I'm expecting they will add a new antibiotic to his drug cocktail. Understandably he's really tired today and not feeling too chipper -- as you can imagine he is not laughing 1/2 as much as I am at my nut references -- I think he actually rolled his eyes at me when I showed him the picture above. I know, I know, I should be caring and sensitive to his plight -- but, really, if you saw it for yourself, I dare you not to make nut references! You won't be able to do it!!