Saturday, May 9, 2009

Scenes from a Hospital Bathroom

As you know CarGuy is back in the hospital and while I'm not having to sleep on the floor in his room this time around (thank goodness!!) I do have to use the community bathroom. While I have an aversion to public restrooms in general, I am glad that the bathroom is right across from his room rather than out 2 doors and down the hall and around the corner like the last time we were here. I'm sure I was 12 degrees of entertaining to the staff around here before with my sprinting at Olympic speed to the bathroom all the time. I can move pretty darn fast sometimes!

Why am I telling you all this about a bathroom? Well...something struck me as funny in there today. Oh, come on now, stop looking at me like that, those who either know me IRL or have been reading this blog for any length of time know that I see the world a little oddly and have no trouble sharing my musings with anyone who will listen (or read). So...come along with me...if I go into TMI territory, see that little red x up in the top right hand corner of your monitor? Just click it, go take a cold shower with lye soap, get yourself some hypnosis therapy, and you will soon forget what I shared with you (or maybe you won't). ;-)

I should probably tell you first and foremost that I am a voracious reader. I read a lot and I will read anything and everything that crosses my path! When I was a kid I drove my parents crazy because I had to read, out loud mind you, every sign, bumper sticker, reader board, etc. that I saw. Yes...I HAD to do it, not I WANTED to do it, I HAD to do it. It's an illness - I need therapy - I know this. TMI warning ahead -- when I am in the bathroom I have to read stuff. I will look for things to read even if it's the naughties that are written on the bathroom walls -- although sometimes those are pretty darn engaging! Well anyway...in this particular bathroom there's really not much to look at but there is a can of disinfecting spray. So...I grab the can and am happily going along reading everything on the can -- yes, I did say happily -- it does make me happy to read stuff like this.

While I'm reading I'm thinking to myself that it really does amaze me that you have to tell people they should not spray this kind of stuff in their eyes and that it's not meant for internal human consumption. Who are these morons anyway? Oh, wait, I think they are the same ones who sue McDonald's when they spill their coffee on themselves and it burns them -- uh, clue one, it's coffee!! Carry on...

But...this particular can was even funnier than that. This one told you that you must don goggles or a face shield when using this product. Huh?!?!? We are talking about a household product that is supposed to make your life more pleasant by dissipating obnoxious smells and killing germs in order to keep you healthy...right? In fact, this product actually touts that it should be in nurseries -- it's been a while but I think that's where you store your babies. Those little wiggly creatures who are entirely dependent on adults to ensure their safety. Now...I am supposed to spray this spray in their living environment but I better put on a face shield first?

Oh, but, wait...that's not all!! The can also directs you that you must clean up any "gross filth" before using this product. *snicker* In my mind I see filth that has grown to the 144th power, has sprouted arms and legs, and is crawling toward this little June Cleaverish woman trying to spray it into submission -- wearing her face shield of course! Yes...you could say I've been watching way too much SciFi Channel!

I want to know what team of lawyers or industrial hygienists were involved in drafting up that packaging. I bet they are just loads of fun at parties!!

2 comments:

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

You crack me up!!! I always get a kick out of reading the instructions. Some are just plain ridiculous!!!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Kat Tale Tennessee said...

When is your book going to be published? One who reads voraciously and also writes voraciously, should publish voraciously! Loved the story.