Friday, April 11, 2008


Get ready…put on your hats…pick up your margaritas…blow up the balloons…I am having a full blown pity party today! It never ceases to amaze me that the wonderful, love of my life, most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, can make me feel so unappreciated. I’m speaking of my DS! He is getting ready to graduate from high school and I am spending tons of money on this event and everything that surrounds it. I know that when it’s all over I’ll be glad but right now he’s making me so angry I want to pitch it all (which I won’t but that doesn’t mean I can’t stomp my feet and hold my breath anyway). Here’s the whole ugly story told in 5,000 words or less – prom is coming up and so is an 8 day business trip/visit to daddy that I am taking. We need to get his tux ordered before I leave on Monday and the city I work in has a place that has tuxes for much less than the tux shop in our city. In order to save time I asked him to come to my office today at lunch (he’s on spring break) so we could go over there and get this taken care of. His response was snotty (“I have plans” and “it would have been nice for you to tell me this earlier”) and I told him so – all via that wonderful contraption, cell phone texting. If I find out his plans were to go shopping with his girlfriend or some other such unworthy activity, I think my head might actually separate from my shoulders and do an exorcist-type turn! A guy from work and my DH both told me to tell him when I am available and that if he can’t make himself available at that time, then he is on his own to get it ordered AND pay for it. I can’t bring myself to do that but I will tell him how he made me feel while I am inconveniencing myself to do it on his timeframe – like I always do! Although I have told him that we are leaving the house at 9am tomorrow to take care of this knowing full well that means he has to get up earlier than he wants to. It's partially because I don't want to have to wait forever for the fitting part but more so because I want him to suffer a little. I know, I know, he'll need hours and hours of therapy to deal with his passive agressive mother when he gets older!

Why do I do this to myself? I consistently put myself out for others and expect them to appreciate it. Sometimes they do but most of the time I don’t think they have any idea how put out I was. I highly doubt I am the only one who does this. DH says I spoil the kid but I don’t think it’s spoiling as much as it is wanting to make life harmonious.
I deal with conflict nearly all day at work and I just want my home life to be a smooth working machine. Is that asking too much? I want June Cleaver’s life! (of course, minus the heels, hose, and pearls - and cooking - and cleaning - well...maybe I don't want her life after all!)

Gosh…I really am in a foul mood today – I think I might be PMSing so somebody throw some chocolate over the top of the barbed wire for me!

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