As you can see from my sidebar and the little banner at the bottom of the page I am going to be an aunt again and I'm extremely excited. My middle sister, BeeGee which is short for The Band Geek (she knows I mean it in the most loving way and I'm sure she'd nickname me the Snobby Cheerleader), is expecting and it is such a blessing. She and her husband, Pepper (he'll know exactly why I call him that!), have been married for 8 years and getting preggers has been a challenge. Well...she told family this last weekend about the happy event and one certain person was not happy but rather wanted to know if she was the first to know (which she wasn't) and then proceeded to make a statement about not being the first to know. While others showed their happiness this one comment has hurt BeeGee immensely. Something she wanted to be a really happy event for all sort of turned sour on her. My heart just breaks and I wish she wasn't 1200 miles away or I'd take her out for some pampering at the spa to make her feel better. Guess I'll just have to send her a silly card instead -- you know, that's just as good -- NOT!!
I want to give this person a piece of my mind but I know it's best if I keep my mouth shut. I know this type of behavior is indicative of someone who is not fulfilled and doesn't really feel like she's anything special. I know she just wanted to be the first to know so she could get that special feeling. I can understand the feeling because as DS (who wants to know why he doesn't get a cool nickname on here -- hmmm I'll have to give that some thought) gets older I am lower on the totem pole of information. I remember when he was a little boy I was the first to know everything and I knew everything going on in his life. It's just not that way anymore but as time goes by it gets easier to deal with. He has his own life and it seems the more I let go the more he keeps me involved -- another topic for another day to be sure! I don't think she has been able to get to this point and I'm not holding out much hope that she will.
Anyway...I wish I could just let this person know, in a kind way, that her reactions to things have a lasting impact on people. I wish I could get her to a point where she finds fulfillment in her own accomplishments rather than living vicariously through others. That vicarious living will only leave you flat when those you depend on don't do exactly what you want them to. I wish there was some way I could instill in her the confidence she lacks. There is so much I wish for her but as time goes by I only see her sinking deeper into the pit she's in. Where is that darn magic wand I ordered eons ago?!?! UPS is really getting on my list now!!! Grrrrr....
Hamburger Noodle Casserole
16 years ago
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3 comments:
My family is full of people like this to the point where I just don't tell anyone anything anymore. If anything, I'll tell my grandma and let her pass the message on. Some people can't stand other people being happy and will do everything they can to torpedo it.
There is always one person that has to ruin it for other's isn't there. It just makes me crazy. Just keep the focus on the joy of a new baby in the family and not the let the focus be on the buzzkill.
Apple -- You are absolutely right. We don't usually even tell this particular person anything until we absolutely have to because she's such a drama queen.
Debbie -- She usually comes around eventually and enters into the happiness that comes along, it's just her initial reactions are dramatic and annoying. When I first told her I was pregnant with DS she didn't speak to me for 2 months. Oh, well, we've come to expect it but I have to admit this reaction to BeeGee was truly not how I thought she would react.
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